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A still from ChargesheetChargesheet is a delicious, demented ride with a slutty line-up of starlets and ageing supremos such as Jackie Shroff and Naseeruddin Shah in very earnest performances

That it was screening at Fame Adlabs, Bombay's first multiplex that is now as gratifyingly derelict as a single theatre, adds to the avant-garde-ness of Chargesheet, Dev Anand's latest directorial venture. And equally delightful is the fact that Warner Brothers has released this marvel: you do see a gilded photograph of warehouses with a post-production ripple as a 'WB' languidly fades into vision. It is no rare feat for a man who clocked two fat ladies last week, complete with a cozy press gathering at the retro Sun-n-Sand hotel in Juhu. The man is 88, but the film is made with the pre-pubescent glee of an 8-year-old; its gaze is obsessed with the breasts of its actresses and the film goes that extra mile to showcase them from all angles.

A still from ChargesheetThe plot goes like this: Naseeruddin Shah plays a don who is so intoxicated by the

A still from 'Chargesheet'

Cast: Dev Anand, Divya Dutta, Naseeruddin Shah, Jackie Shroff, a few big bosomed women with undersized brassieres, too many extras

Directed by Dev Anand

Marksheet: Hardcore soft porn

'Chargesheet' will cling to memory for being the single-most traumatic Hindi movie ever. We all feel for the underdogs, the extras on a film set, the sideshow clowns, the people who cumulatively realise crowd scenes in films etc. But our sentiments for these rejects of the entertainment industry would be feeble compared to that of director Dev Anand's, who casts them in lead roles in this film. I mean, he did cast Naseeruddin Shah and Jackie Shroff too. But in a crowd of big bosomed ham cutlets, they're just the seasoning.

The film sets the tone right from the beginning. The big 'Bhai' from Dubai (Naseeruddin Shah) is being serenaded by his favourite keep, Maria. A rain dance number is performed with clothes so minimal that if she had worn nothing, we would've seen lesser than we do. Anyway, like every

Mahie Gill in a still from the movie

Cast: Jimmy Sheirgill, Mahie Gill, Randeep Hooda
Directed by Tigmanshu Dhulia
Rating: *** ½

Some of the best thrillers and edgy cult classics have had one thing in common: their characters could snap at just about anything. And the three lead cast members in 'Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster' (SBAG) are just as deliciously obnoxious and unpredictable to keep you entertained.

The film revolves around the lives of Saheb (Jimmy Sheirgill), a king without a crown, Choti Rani (Mahie Gill), a queen who is as disturbed as she is horny and Bablu (Randeep Hooda), a very ambitious and passionate side-kick. Now with each of them displaying competing levels of eccentricity, it is natural that we would have untimely slaps and any scene can drift from passionate to gruesome without any warning.

Despite being bankrupt, Saheb takes pride in his royalty which is reduced to just his moustache. His chief source of income is now terrorizing government officials for contracts and bumming off from stepmother, 'Badi

The pace and quick cuts in 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' trailer promises enough thrill

The fast-paced extended new trailer of David Fincher's 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo', promises enough action this Christmas and may well be as good as Niels Arden Oplev's earlier Swedish-language release. There is enough build-up in the promo as journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) and hacker Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) team up to solve a decades-old murder on a remote Swedish island.

Those who have read Stieg Larsson's original novel will be worried that Fincher might have taken certain liberties (The explicit scene where Lisbeth is torturing her guardian is not there) which may weaken the subplot showing Lisabeth's personal troubles. But then, if Fincher's film is to be a copy of Oplev's film, why do we need to see it?

For those who are not familiar with the story of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo':

Disgraced journalist Mikael Blomkvist is hired by rich businessman Henrik Vanger

Speedy Singhs

Cast: Vinay Virmani, Anupam Kher, Camilla Belle, Gurpreet Guggi, Russel Peters, Noureen Dewulf, Sakina Jaffrey, Rob Lowe, Akshay Kumar

Directed by Robert Lieberman

Rating: **
Sports films have always subscribed to a recipe that guarantees success. A little more or less and you can be assured of indigestion. So here's a list of ingredients needed for a heady brew of clichés:

1.    Every sports movie has to have a lead. Someone who looks, acts, dribbles better than most others in the film. In some cases, he/she is also the only one with an acting background among the cast. Here we have Mickey-Mouse-faced Rajveer Singh (Vinay Virmani).

2.    For no particular reason, the sport our hero pursues so passionately will be one his native country is alien to. Like in 'Lagaan', cricket was an English game which was mastered by the local Indian villagers. Here, Rajveer, who is of an Indian origin, is crazy about ice hockey, a game he picked up while growing up in Canada (in all possible Punjabi

Mausam

Cast: Shahid Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor, Anupam Kher, Aditi Sharma, Supriya Pathak

Directed by Pankaj Kapoor

Rating: *1/2

Mausam can have many taglines. Mausam- 'a season to snooze'. Mausam- 'come fall asleep (with or without recliner seats)'. But the original one sticks best, 'Mausam: a timeless love story…' The ellipses only reinforce that this film might just never end. A tip: carry a day pack comprising essentials when you go to watch it.

A disclaimer at the beginning says that the film doesn't depict true Indian Air Force procedures and tactics. So, dare you roll your eyes when a fighter pilot in the film prepares for an aerial raid by locking and loading his pistol into his holster (in case the missiles get jammed?).

The film opens to a charming village in Punjab called Mallukot, home to our hero, Harry/Harinder Singh (Shahid Kapoor) who is somewhere between Top Cat and village idiot. In true Punjabi spirit, every dialogue begins with 'Dekh oye!' and everyone loves saying 'Haan

August saw Bollywood experimenting with a mixed bag of genres- From the pretentious shining India films 'I Am Kalam' and 'Gandhi to Hitler' to socially relevant Aarakshan. Next up was a lukewarm real-life drama in 'Not a Love Story', followed by comic caper 'Chatur Singh Two Star' and finally the most awaited Eid release, 'Bodyguard'. But the only thing common between the films was the fact that all made for a painful viewing. Our in-house critic Kunal Guha picks out five films that failed to live up to the audience's expectations.

I Am Kalam: Films produced with the intention of acquiring leafy film festival logos on the DVD cover, can end up being dangerously pretentious, even if they stick to the formula. And 'I am Kalam' is a perfect example of such a film. More

Aarakshan: Films about social issues are like primetime debates on news channels, opinionated yet inconclusive. And even 'Aarakshan' neither takes a firm stand, nor provides the way forward. More

Not A Love Story: One of

A still from 'Mummy Punjabi'

Cast: Kirron Kher, Kanwaljit Singh, Jackie Shroff, Divya Dutta, Viraf Patel, Sachin Sharma, Simran
Directed by Pammi Somal
Rating: Bummer Punjabi

Unlike the wrapped remains of pre-historic Egyptians, the Punjabi mummy has a lot to offer. From hip-shaking jhatkas to jaw-chilling phatkas (slaps), this mother of melodrama, can give any K-serial bahu a run for her money. Cumulatively, 'Mummy Punjabi' compiles an eclectic collection of stereotypes from Hindi films, past, present and even those lost in time.

Set in the semi-metro of Punjab, Chandigarh, the film presents the life and times of Baby (Kirron Kher). Fondly called as Babyji, she is the mother of Simran (who has a misplaced calling for Bolywood) and two sons, Karan (Sachin Sharma) and Arjun (Viraf Patel). They're often seen squinting as Baby squeezes their cheeks while muttering, "Mere Karan-Arjun…". One is a smart-ass doctor and the other a timid club owner. When a mother is called 'Baby', her babies end up being rotten as hell.