Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Prakash Raj, Hema Malini, Raveena Tandon, Sonu Sood, Sonal Chauhan, Charmy Kaur

Directed by Puri Jagannadh

Rating: Beep Beep Bleep

When people suffer from a mid-life crisis, they do something dramatic like buying a Porsche or indulging in activities they couldn't even manage decades ago (without going breathless). But at 68, Bachchan has safely crossed mid-life, to use it as an excuse for playing this colourful clown on the big screen.

And while millions of Bachchan admirers would want to remember him for his iconic roles, 'Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap' (BHTB) would only stick out like a sore thumb in his resume.

BHTB is about a veteran gangster, Viju (Amitabh Bachchan) who has returned to Mumbai from Paris, dressed in what can safely be called as rejects from the fall-winter collection of 1950s. He's cocky, flirtatious and blasts anyone who calls him, well, 'Bbuddah'. His usual response to being called to the 'B' word is hurling the same word back at the abuser's

Cast: Imran Khan, Kunal Roy Kapoor, Vir Das, Poorna Jagannathan, Shenaz Treasurywala, Vijay Raaz

Directed by Abhinay Deo

Rating: ***

Very rarely we come across a film that disgusts and delights in equal measure. A film that has us crinkling our nose, yet sticking a thumb up for approval. Delhi Belly is one such film. And though many of us feel, we're too old for potty humour, we're not. As you would imagine, Delhi's Belly manifests an upset stomach, rumbling constantly, warning you of its ominous contents. This sound can be roughly translated in words, by the song, 'I want to break free' by Queen.

The storyline is fairly uncomplicated for films in this genre. Parallel stories collide at certain parts but it seems natural and not Kukunoor-ish.  The film is about three Delhi bachelors, Tashi (Imran Khan), Arup (Vir Das) and Nitin (Kunaal Roy Kapoor), living in (by far) the filthiest bachelor pad constructed by any set designer ever.

Professionally, Arup is a cartoonist for an ad agency

Cast: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Riteish Deshmukh, Jaaved Jafri, Ashish Chowdhury, Mallika Sherawat, Kangana Ranaut, Satish Kaushik

Directed by Indra Kumar

Rating: ** 1/2

No animals were hurt in the making of this film, unless you consider Ashish Chowdhury in his gorilla costume being abused by another gorilla (who is apparently the Emraan Hashmi of the ape world). This is ironic as Hashmi is himself often referred to as the chimp of the human world. And yes, this film is about the famously-foolish-foursome from 'Dhamaal' monkeying around like this was the Indian version of 'The Planet of the Apes'.  And if the brand of humour called 'idiotically hilarious' doesn't row your boat, don't get on this roller-coaster of non-stop madness. But if it does, enjoy the ride.

The film has quite a bit for a plot, considering such films can even manage without one. Our super-zeros, Adi (Arshad Warsi), Manav (Javed Jaffrey), Roy (Riteish Deshmukh) and Boman (Ashish Chowdhury) still love doing what

Cast: Vinay Pathak, Kay Kay Menon, Minisha Lamba, Suresh Menon, Amol Gupte

Directed by Sagar Ballary

Rating: *1/2

Comic actors over generations have relied on two vital skills: the ability to annoy and the art of appearing quite foolish. And some legends like Jim Carrey and Jerry Lewis have excelled in both these vocations. Buffs of the first installment of this film would be quick to point out that it is lead actor, Bharat Bhushan's (Vinay Pathak) idiosyncrasies that can fry one's 'bheja' deliciously. But in this watered-down sequel, unfortunately, he's either become tolerable or we've become immune to his nonsensical behaviour.

The basic plot of the film doesn't throw-up any surprises. But then, in a film like this, you're more concerned with the imbecilic situations that our lead zero, Bharat, lands himself into. This time around, income tax officer, Bharat wins a TV game show that gets him on a cruise liner where he bumps into visionary scammer and perverted freak, Ajit Talwar (Kay

Cast: Kay Kay Menon, Piyush Mishra, Deepti Naval, Prashant Narayan, Gautam Sharma, Shilpa Shukla, Pawan Malhotra, Vedita Pratap Singh

Directed by Ankush Bhatt

Rating: Taare Zameen Par

When I make a gangster movie, it will feature Muslim and Hindu extremists. The Hindus will wear saffron and the Muslims will flaunt smudgy eye make-up. There will be riots too and a tranny whore, a corrupt cop who swings both ways (between the two rival gangs), etc. This was probably director Ankush Bhatt's vision before he planned to make Bhindi Bazaar Inc.

Okay, to break this film down to a line: It's about a chess game, wherein every move is vaguely metaphoric and hence intercut with a pointless story from the lives of our two lead slum dogs, Darzi (Gautam Sharma) and Fateh (Prashant Narayan). These two are children when they're inducted into the world of pick-pocketing and kite-flying (yes, the two are very connected!).

After picking roughly 550 wallets each, they grow up to become capable henchmen

Shaitan

Cast: Rajit Kapoor, Rajeev Khandelwal, Kalki Koechlin, Pawan Malhotra, Shiv Pandit, Gulshan Devaiya, Neil Bhoopalam, Kirti Kulhari

Directed by Bejoy Nambiar

Rating: **1/2

Teens in Bollywood movies are usually blessed with a disposable income, fancy wheels and a life that makes you forget yours. The ones in 'Shaitan' confirm to the above, don't confirm to a limited dosage of cocaine and have a healthy appetite for destruction. While some may blame the parents for lack of bum-slapping during childhood, what really is pumping the insanity and unwarranted angst into the veins of today's youth is the game that could be included in the Olympics of the future, Angry Birds! Or not?

The film introduces 5 friends, Amrita/ Amy (Kalki Koechlin), Dushyant/ Dash (Shiv Pandit), Zubin (Neil Bhoopalam), Karan/ KC (Gulshan Devaiya) and Tanya Sharma (Kirti Kulhari). Apart from Dash, who works at a coffee shop, the rest belong to affluent families. So, like most rich and rotten teens their age, they

Cast: Salman Khan, Asin, Arya Babbar, Paresh Rawal, Puneet Issar, Mahesh Manjrekar

Directed by Anees Bazmee

Rating: *1/2

Whistle-blowers rejoice! Salman is back and this time he's ditched his belt to fiddle inside his pant pockets (read: Dhinka Chika, in case you don't have a television set at home). The thing with Salman's films is that they're in a genre of their own. A genre that cannot be graded for the story, screenplay, performances or any other metric used to evaluate other films. They can just be enjoyed or suffered, depending upon the elasticity of your tolerance. I hope you would consider this vague disclaimer before reading this review and before going to watch this monsoon musical.

But you're on this page hoping to get an idea about this film, so let's get down to business. The film is about a spoilt brat called Prem (the 14th time Salman has used this as a screen name) and his annoyingly happy family. Prem's daddy, Rajveer Kapoor (Mahesh Manjrekar) has the memory of a

Kuch Luv Jaisa

Cast: Shefali Shah, Rahul Bose, Sumit Raghavan

Directed by Barnali Ray Shukla

Rating: ** 1/2

Chance meetings in Hindi films have always seemed less accidental and too fantastic to even be possible. Like the prankster Raj meeting the docile Simran while she tries desperately to catch a moving train (Eurorail, no less) in DDLJ. But then if filmy love stories were believable and logical, would they be as much fun and exciting?  May be, may be not.

Anyway, this one is about an underappreciated housewife, Madhu Saxena (Shefali Shah) whose relationship with her husband (Sumit Raghavan) has been reduced to a clinical one. Like most neglected housewives, she wants to break-free and feels that her life is drifting away aimlessly and that she couldn't be all the things she wanted to. Oddly, one can empathise with her simple sufferings, without actually being in her shoes. Perhaps, that is the power of a well-written character.

Luckily, all is not lost. Just as her husband forgets one of her