Directed by Samir Karnik
Rating: Minus Chaar
The writers of ‘Chaar Din Ki Chandni’ and CAPTCHA writers serve the same purpose: waste your time and question your being (considering your taste in films!). Nonsensical has always been Bollywood’s version of slapstick. A wafer-thin plot, exaggerated characters who believe comedy means screaming out lines and repeating jokes which weren’t funny the first time around. But CDKC, miraculously, even manages to insult this disreputable genre. While a romantic comedy surrounding a wedding would be an impulsive 'paisa-daalo' for any financier, the unaccounted risks surface from the cracks in the characterization. And even for a person with superhuman tolerance, they will seem unnecessarily quirky and embarrassingly desperate in their attempt to entertain. If you’ve seen the promos of this film, you know the type. But you’re wrong. It’s not even worthy of being a no-brainer that you gape at on TV during aimless Sunday afternoons.
Set in a royal family in Rajasthan, we meet our never-ending cast members: the Raja, his highness, his baldness, Chandraveer Singh/ CV Singh (Anupam Kher), his wife, her highness with low blouse-neck, Devika Singh (Anita Raj), their sons, the royal pervert Udaybhan Singh (Mukul Dev), the regally and illogically irritated Yashwant Singh (Sushant Singh) and the comfortably drunk Prithvi Singh (Chandrachur Singh). Now, you can forget these names and focus on the lead pair: C V Singh’s fourth seed, Veer Singh (Tusshar Kapoor), a London educated lad (proven by one scene where he’s talking and walking in English around Piccadilly Circus). Veer isn’t a complete caricature like his brothers and other allied relations and has returned to India for a family wedding along with his lover who is pretending to be a journalist, Miss very-well-dimpled Chandni (Kulraj Randhava). Why the pseudo-profession? Because the royal Rajputs will never accept a mere mortal like Chandni, despite sharing the same surname. Now that’s an original plot!
There’s little else in the story and you know exactly where this film is headed. To make it worse, the filmmaker chooses to pack in situations that are supposed to amuse but leave you bemused about why the interval isn’t popping up. Fatoor Singh (Om Puri) and Pammi Singh (Farida Jalal) who are Chandni’s parents also show up to save this sinking ship but fail miserably. Since, the director wanted to equitably distribute screen space among the supporting cast, Veer’s brothers are all smitten by Chandni and each one justifies his signing amount by pouring out his acting studio lessons to impress her.
For a movie that has been marketed as a rib-tickling comedy, it resorts to dated stunts like accidental bash-ups to people plunging to the ground to childlike imitations of awkward walking styles. Yes, even the edit machines refused to provide a laughter track to these.
If Kulraj Randhawa didn’t have strategically placed beauty dents on both her cheeks, we could’ve concentrated on her performance
With the ‘com’ gasping for breath, the ‘rom’ hardly comes to the rescue as the lead pair share no chemistry, physics or any other subject that suggests their intimate collaboration. Veer looks into Chandni’s eyes and says, “Suraj ko dekhne se chashma lag sakta hain, chand ko dekhne se nahin.” Now you know why this movie wasn’t made in 3D.
Tusshar cannot be criticized for his performance because he has never been appreciated for it either. Point being, he’s like the Canadian cricket team, very little to live up to. If Kulraj Randhawa didn’t have strategically placed beauty dents on both her cheeks, we could’ve concentrated on her performance better. But in hindsight, to hell with performance and great job with the dimples!
The only two songs that catch your attention are ‘Chandni’ and ‘Kangna’ which are both just tweaked versions of chart-toppers from different eras. While the supporting cast doesn’t really elevate the film in general, Anupam Kher and Om Puri hog the screen for longer than others. So it can be assumed that screen space for character actors was divided based on seniority.
Contrary to the popular phrase, too much of a bad thing becomes a worse thing here. If you’re passing out by the end of the first half, the second half could be fatal and there are better places outside the multiplex where you can finish your remaining popcorn. Such films upgrade our job to be comparable to those of fire-fighters who risk their lives to protect others, I am doing so here through this cautionary review.
You can reach me at guha.kunal@rocketmail.com or connect with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter
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