Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are ready to get Hollywood drunk on Globes night

Amy Poehler, left, and Tina Fey get ready to host the Golden GlobesAmy Poehler, left, and Tina Fey get ready to host the Golden Globes (Photo: Gavin Bond/NBC)

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler can't give a straight answer about their upcoming Golden Globes hosting duties -- not to mention their own nominations. But we wouldn't want it any other way.

The two comedic powerhouses hopped on a conference call this week with Yahoo! Movies and other media outlets to "talk" about Sunday night's awards show. The thing is, nearly all inquiries were met with joke answers, largely focused on the fact that the Globes -- unlike the Oscars -- can quickly turn into a Hollywood drunk fest.

"We sort of feel like our job is to keep things moving and also to try to help get the movie stars more liquored up," Fey said about Sunday night's festivities, during which stars munch on food and sip on champagne. "Hopefully someone's boob will fall out of a dress. That is our main role," she said of she and Poehler's hosting strategy.

Fey and Poehler's friendship predates their groundbreaking "Saturday Night Live" days when they became the show's first all-female anchor team for Weekend Update. (And they're breaking that same ground at this year's Globes, becoming the telecast's first female duo to host.) The two initially became friends after meeting at an improv class in Chicago in 1993. Now, 20 years later, it's clear their BFF status has worked in their favor.

In the midst of a barrage of wise cracks, claims of not being at all prepared for Sunday's show and logically impossible statements such as "We have a lot of spontaneous things planned," Fey and Poehler managed to get a little serious during the call. Once. They both admitted they're rooting for "Silver Linings Playbook."

Like its star Bradley Cooper, Fey also grew up in Philadelphia -- where the film is set -- and says she frequented a spot that was depicted in it. "I thought the acting was great and it is also shot in my neighborhood where I am from and I used to go to that diner all the time. So it was very special to me," Fey said, adding a zinger, "Also I have deep seeded mental problems."

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Poehler then pointed out that she and Cooper are longtime friends and that they shared a bunk a the Sundance Film Festival 12 years ago while promoting their movie "Wet Hot American Summer." "And by sharing a bunk it is a euphemism," she joked, adding that she admired Jennifer Lawrence's performance and is also rooting for "The Impossible," starring Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor.

The following excerpts from the call should offer fair warning to viewers planning to tune in on Sunday night:

Amy Poehler: I am going to pub crawl it all the way to the venue and I am going to try and take like a two hour blackout nap before we start. And then as soon as the show is over I am going to go on a 10-day juice cleanse.

Tina Fey: And I am going to start a really aggressive awards season workout routine in the middle of the show.
...

Meriah Doty: Not to be completely shameless, but what is one prank, or something that you can tell us, that might entice people to tune in that you two are planning?

Poehler: Well one of the people watching is going to win a million dollars if they laugh at just the right thing. Someone is going to knock on their door and they are going to get a huge check for a million dollars.

Fey: You have to be home and you have to have more than one television tuned into the Golden Globes. That is how you qualify.

Poehler: Right, so we can give that away. We haven't talked to the [Hollywood Foreign Press Association] about that yet. We don't know where we are getting all that -- we are getting the million but we are going to work that stuff out later.

Fey: They have it.

...

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Poehler [on her possible acceptance speech]: If either one of us does win we will already have been talking at that point for a while anyway so people will be sick of our faces so I am sure we will keep it short and sweet. Or screw it. You know if we are hosting we can just go as long as we wanted and just cut in other people's time.

Fey: You can't cut me off because technically this is part of my hosting thing.

Poehler: Yes.

Fey: So if you win you could just talk forever and it is different.

Poehler: Yes.

...

Fey: Also we are going to sing the whole show. The whole show is going to be sung front to back and [composer] Stephen Sondheim and [stage director] James Lapine have written it.

Poehler: We just called up Sondheim and we were like "guess what?" And he is like, "what?" We are like starting writing. He just said, "jackpot." ...I mean, honestly, we won't even know what we are singing until our music rehearsal which I think is weirdly Monday which is the day after the Globes.

Fey: It was the only time we could schedule it.

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