Movie Reviews

Challo Driver review

Ahoy Captain!

Cast: Kainaz Motiwala, Vickrant Mahajan, Prem Chopra, Blue eyeliner, Green eyeliner, Purple eyeliner, Audi SUV

Directed by Vickrant Mahajan (who is also the lead actor, lyricist, writer of the film and if you're particularly unlucky, he would be sitting next to you in the movie)

Rating: Minus 2

There are movies that stand up for women’s rights and there are those like this that sit down on women’s wrongs. In the same vein as Hema Malini’s directorial misadventures, ‘Challo Driver’ is one such cinematic zit that is nurtured into becoming malignant. If this film actually had a decided moral, it must be that women can do everything. This includes being highly qualified but picking a job that befits an illiterate only because they’re also adventurous and stupidly stubborn and stubbornly stupid. And girls just wanna have… at your cost (since you will pay for the multiplex ticket). Prostration guaranteed.

'Talk to the eyeliner since the rest don't want to hear anymore'

Tanya Malhotra (Kainaz Motiwala) is an occupation-less yet fiercely driven and sharply competitive girl. So one day when her friend dares her to consider becoming a chauffeur since its ‘different’ and daring and unassuming, the three adjectives bring a glint in her eye and she jumps at the offer. After a personal interview with the passenger’s grandpa (Prem Chopra), she’s hired at a salary of Rs 50,000/ per month+perks on a 6-month contract. Most of this money is then invested in eyeliners (blue, green and purple) as you see her (from the very next scene) bordering her eyes so emphatically like she was trying to keep out illegal immigrants.

Let's make a sequel and call it 'Chalo Conductor'

Tanya has been hired as a driver for Arjun (Vickrant Mahajan), a grumpy blackberry boy who is difficult to suffer for his idiosyncratic habits. But Arjun’s grandpa’s not-so-secret plan to hire Tanya as his ‘pota’s’ driver is to turn his outlook to life over its head. And how does Tanya manage that? Let’s revisit this old phrase to learn how, ‘I used to feel bad about being shunned for digging my nose in public until I met a man who had no fingers’. Well, this may not be the precise phrase but it conveys the same message.
A few more drives and we'll be hitched

A few retarded dares are hurled between driver and passenger and since Arjun is only more competitive and less practical, the two land up in some unmentionable situations that eventually teach them both a few lessons of life. Arjun learns that drivers are human beings and deserve air-conditioning and music, while Tanya learns that experimenting with eyeliners can be distracting enough to mute anything you have to say. A painful love story begins with a constipated realisation, "Mujh mein bhi feelings hain. Special feelings." We don't want to know. Seriously, stop!
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue

Following a promising debut in Ragini MMS, Kainaz Motiwala seems smudged and blotchy and we’re not referring to her eye makeup which could be surely bag a few ‘Best supporting role’ nominations. Snooping around about Vickrant Mahajan, we did discover a little about his past (check it out here). But writing, directing, making grumpy faces off and on the camera cumulatively doesn’t deserve any credit. Still for doing more than half the jobs in this film all by himself, perhaps a micro-applause by beating two toothpicks to each other.

The only mentionable actor in the film has to be Manoj Pahwa who delights in sudden bursts with his brilliant Punjabi-isms. The songs in the film could pass for the next music video on ETC Punjabi and the overall production quality of the film is just about fair, given the low budget. The movie repeatedly offers a statistic saying women are involved in 37% lesser accidents compared to men. How well researched his number is, cannot be ascertained but after watching this movie, driving is not recommended for both genders as the required faculties could be left a little bruised.

Releasing along with ‘TDKR’, this film could surely challenge the Batman blockbuster for a box office Muay Thai. Just like the Netherlands cricket team intimidates the Australian.

You can reach me at guha.kunal@rocketmail.com or connect with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter


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