Arranged Marriage: 8 Questions to Avoid in the First Meeting


Arranged marriages are not an easy thing to start with. The first meeting, especially, is a series of awkward smiles, awkward expressions and awkward silences. In short, such meetings often get very difficult to get through. You can never be sure of what to say, what to highlight or what to underplay in your conversations with the other party. The simplest way to make the entire process outright uncomfortable is by asking too many questions or asking irrelevant questions. To save you from this trouble, we have eight such questions, which you should never ask in the first meeting of an arranged marriage.
Recommended Read:
6 Defining Moments in an Indian Arranged Marriage
10 Things You have to Know about Arranged Marriages
Make Your First Date after Engagement a Memorable One

Cover Image Courtesy: Mahima Bhatia Photography

How much do you earn?

People often say, “Do not ask a woman her age and the man his salary.” However, there is a twist in the tale. Even guys should remember that working women do not appreciate questions about their salaries. This question makes you seem like someone who puts money as a priority over other things. There is no harm in the question but when and how you put it across is important! Such questions definitely does not create the first impression that you are rooting for.

How many relationships did you have in the past?

One always asks this question with the hope of hearing ‘none’ as an answer. It is important to be honest, but a question this personal can be reserved for a time when you are more familiar with each other. In any case, this question can be quite daunting and must be left for discussion after things seem a little more concrete.

What is your monthly expenditure?

This question does not concern the matchmaking process in any way. Being financially safe is important, but asking outright about other person’s expenses is not. If knowing the answer to this is important to you then remember that there are better ways to phrase it. You can ask about his or her hobbies and likes and dislikes. These questions can give you a glimpse of their lifestyle without pepping into their bank statements!

How many guy or girls have you rejected so far?

Just because uncomfortable silences scare you that does not mean that you start asking absolutely irrelevant questions. If a person is going for an arranged marriage, it is not shocking that they would have met quite a few people before you. So, you don’t need to bother yourself with questions like, ‘how many people have you met’ or ‘how many guys/girls have you rejected’. Remember, this question has good chances of getting backfired as well.

Are your parents financially dependent on you?

Never ever ask such questions! Its an invitation to be labelled as control freak and a money-minded. Asking such questions bluntly would give the wrong idea about you being financially stringent. Not just guys, even girls want to take their parent’s financial responsibility on themselves, willingly.

How many kids do you want?

Talking about kids is not something that should come up in the first meeting itself. First meetings in an arranged marriage setup, should be limited to making efforts in knowing the person sitting opposite you. Directly asking about how many kids the other person would like to have is absolutely irrelevant at this stage. Kids are a sensitive topic for any couples that should be discussed at the right time in the right manner.

Do you pray every day?

Such question itself screams orthodox! In the first meeting, you should try to understand the personality of the person sitting in front of you. Asking someone about their belief would make you come across as a judgmental and a narrow-minded individual. Even if this question is asked only casually, it does not make a good impression.

Will you cook every day?

Are you looking for a spouse or a cook for your home? You are here to understand the person, not to discuss the houshold chores he or she can do. If this question is asked to a woman then it can be quite demeaning. Especially for a working person, it is not possible to come back home after work and then cook. So, expecting a woman to do so is also not justified.

When you ask wrong questions, you end up making a fool of yourself and losing a good match. So refrain from making false moves, and ensure that you find a wonderful person to be your prospective partner.

Latest News

  • TV stars recall their memorable fools day

    TV celebrities say the best memories of their fool's day are from their childhood and they will be targeting their loved ones this year. Gaurav S. Bajaj: I would like to fool comedian Bharti. …

  • Films like 'Margarita...' need support more than business: Kalki

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Actress Kalki Koechlin is happy that actor Aamir Khan and his filmmaker wife Kiran Rao are supporting her forthcoming film "Margarita With A Straw" and says that more than box office collection, support to such films matters. "We made such a beautiful film in a small budget. …

  • Check Out: Sidharth Malhotra’s Holiday Selfie
    Check Out: Sidharth Malhotra’s Holiday Selfie

    Student of The Year actor Sidharth Malhotra has taken some time off his busy schedule to have some peaceful time with his family. Sidharth is having the most of his time by going out for cycling or just wandering and exploring new places. Sidharth manages his busy life very carefully. Usually we see our Bollywood stars going out on vacation with their partners or friends but here we see our Ek Villain star Sidharth, taking some time off just to be with his family and enjoy. …

  • Dev Patel link-up reports irk Nargis Fakhri

    The actress took to micro-blogging site Twitter to take a jibe at such stories. "As per media, apparently a dinner crowd of 8 at a pizza place is the same as a "quiet dinner at a plush sobo hotel," Nargis tweeted. …

  • Snapped: Karan Johar, Gauri Khan And Riteish Deshmukh’s Late Night Date
    Snapped: Karan Johar, Gauri Khan And Riteish Deshmukh’s Late Night Date

    Director Karan Johar had some time with his close friends from B-Town after the cover launch of the Filmfare & Ciroc Style Awards issue. Karan Johar’s good friend Gauri Khan accompanied him for the late night dinner. Recently, Karan Johar also attended Lakme Fashion Week in support of Gauri Khan who presented her designs for the first time as a designer. Also actor Riteish Deshmukh was spotted at the dinner in cool summer casual look. …

  • How to make skin summer friendly with basic tips

    Doctor Sangeeta Velaskar, vice president and head, Medical Services and R&D, Kaya Skin Clinic, recommends a few tips for a carefree and skin friendly summer: * Screen the sun: Zero down on a sunscreen that best meets your requirements and contains sun protection factor (SPF). * Exfoliate: Incorporating exfoliation into your skin care regime is a must to avoid dull skin! Exfoliants remove old, dry, dead skin cells, toxins and other deposits and allow new skin cells to surface. …

  • Its 'fun' time for Sidharth Malhotra

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Sidharth Malhotra has packed his bags and left for a vacation with his family. The 30-year-old took to micro-blogging site Twitter to update his fans and give a sneak-peek from his holiday sojourn. "Ok so one holiday selfie for you guys #cycling fun #familytime," Sidharth, who has refrained from sharing his location, tweeted on Tuesday. On the professional front, he has been roped in for Shakun Batra's "Kapoor & Sons", which also star Alia Bhatt and Fawad Afzal Khan. …

  • Karan Johar Reveals Inside Details About Shuddhi And Ram Lakhan
    Karan Johar Reveals Inside Details About Shuddhi And Ram Lakhan

    Lakhan. The two most talked and happening movies Shuddhi and Ram-Lakhan will soon go on floors. At a recent cover launch of Filmfare & Ciroc Glamour and Style Awards issue, Karan Johar announced about his two upcoming movies. He said, “Shuddhi will start soon and Ram-Lakhan will go on floors early 2016″. …

Loading...