Bollywood blockbusters we hated in 2011


Contrary to box office results, here’s why we hated some of the biggest Bollywood blockbusters this year

2011 has been the year of many disappointments, especially in Hindi cinema. In most cases, the hype generated before the release rarely lived up to the promise. While many of these films actually managed to pull in the audience purely for their star appeal, in retrospect, we still can’t get ourselves to see them in a different light. Here’s our list Bollywood blockbusters that failed to impress: 

RA.ONE

Science fiction is an oxymoron. And when this genre is sprinkled with moronic humour and logic takes a beating from hell, you know you've punched your tickets for 'R.A.One'. With metallic blue and red costumes right out of Falguni Pathak's wardrobe, this out-of-console experience offers laughs, dances and androids touching humans in more ways than considered socially acceptable.  Insert coin to read more.

Bodyguard

The beauty of a Salman Khan film is that it doesn't claim to be anything but just that. But when you pack in sappy melodrama, clichéd characterisation, a pathetic love story and action scenes choreographed in outer space, not even a Katrina Kaif item number can save the day. Read more

Rockstar

This film says that depression, apart from making one horny, ignites the artist in one. But our lead, Janardhan Jakhar/JJ (Ranbir Kapoor) was neither adopted, nor abused as a child to feel down enough to become like his idol, Jim Morrison. So, to pursue pain, JJ flirts with college hottie and serial heart-breaker, Heer Kaul (Nargis Fakhri). He hopes to be dumped, shattered and consequently become a musical genius. But following several awkward proposals, JJ and Heer actually bond over doing wild things, which they trigger off by saying, ‘gandh machaate hain!’ Read more

Desi Boyz

Movies on recession focus on two things: the trying state of affairs on being sacked or career options that are recession-proof. 'Desi Boyz' combines the two. Ironically, our lead duo lose their shirts to the global meltdown and then end up becoming male escorts, a profession that thrives on shedding of clothing. And since this could make our censor board a bit queasy, the filmmaker provides enough moral policing to almost seem like a statutory warning on how disgraceful this career choice can be. Read more

Mausam

Mausam can have many taglines. Mausam- 'a season to snooze'. Mausam- 'come fall asleep (with or without recliner seats)'. But the original one sticks best, 'Mausam: a timeless love story…' The ellipses only reinforce that this film might just never end. A tip: carry a day pack comprising essentials when you go to watch it. Read more

Dhobi Ghat

Watching a 95-minute-break-free movie (no interval here!) means a break from munching, slurping and burping (unless you stock up before you enter the screen). But for 'Dhobi Ghat', unfortunately, this undivided attention was completely undeserved. What was portrayed as a film on Mumbai diaries, came across as obvious lines scribbled on a notepad. Perhaps it would be perceived differently by a non-Mumbaikar, but if you've lived in this city, you don't need to be told why people go to Marine Drive or why The Gateway of India is thronged by click-happy tourists. It's like telling Mary about her little lamb (she doesn't want to know!). Read more

Murder 2

Mahesh Bhatt presents (a squirt of paan). A Vikram Bhatt production (a spew of ketchup). A Mohit Suri film (a splash of red curry). When the credits roll like this, it's not surprising that 60 percent of the film has some substitute for blood being spat on the screen. 'Murder 2' is, as you would imagine, a bloody thriller. Read more

Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap

When people suffer from a mid-life crisis, they do something dramatic like buying a Porsche or indulging in activities they couldn't even manage decades ago (without going breathless). But at 68, Bachchan has safely crossed mid-life, to use it as an excuse for playing this colourful clown on the big screen. Read more

Ready

Whistle-blowers rejoice! Salman is back and this time he's ditched his belt to fiddle inside his pant pockets (read: Dhinka Chika, in case you don't have a television set at home). The thing with Salman's films is that they're in a genre of their own. A genre that cannot be graded for the story, screenplay, performances or any other metric used to evaluate other films. They can just be enjoyed or suffered, depending upon the elasticity of your tolerance. I hope you would consider this vague disclaimer before reading this review and before going to watch this monsoon musical. Read more

Haunted 3D

The prospect of getting horrified in three-dimension could be promising. But Indian horror films have rarely gone beyond chalk-faced spirits in Halloween costumes grunting like death-metal vocalists. Here you have just that, in 3D. And the most interesting thing that pops out of the screen is one character's nose. And as incredulous as it may sound, you can actually count the blackheads and even join them to form a shape, if you will. Read more