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Essential Dating Tips for the Shy Guy

5 August 2011
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Dating may become an ordeal if you're new to the process and on top of that, shy.

Your head can get clouded with questions like what should I wear? What should I talk about? What should I not talk about? Well, whatever you do, you have to stop panicking. The most important thing is to be yourself and be relaxed.

Easier said than done? Not really. Here are some essential dating tips for the shy guy:

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Location

Choosing the right location to meet your date is the most fundamental task at hand. Choose a place that is neutral and not too far from your home. It should be in an area you are familiar with. You'll want to avoid a place that is too crowded or noisy, like a loud night club. A quite restrobar with pleasing ambience will be a good idea because at least you'll be able to hear what she says and vice-versa.

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Listen

In order to strike a meaningful conversation, you must listen carefully to what she says. You have to get to know each other. Shy people are normally good listeners but some of them can be so caught in their anxiety or self-consciousness and can be distracted from hearing the other person. You have to make a serious effort to listen.

Speak

Now when we say that you have to be a good listener, nowhere do we imply that you should remain mum and let her be the “motormouth”. Shy people may need to make a bit more effort to contribute their fair share to the conversation. The idea is to build a two-way conversation. So ask questions and listen to her responses. Also, women have a tendency of continuing to speak for long stretches of time. So you have to deal with that as well by making provisions for polite interferences in between her speeches, if any! Preparing a mental list of topic of conversations is advisable.

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Being Positive and Self-assured

At least for the time you're with her, try to leave your shyness outside. Show your inner glow and radiate optimism. This will exhibit your self-confidence and she'll feel attracted. Now there's no need to rush through the things. Give yourself and the other person sufficient chance and time to get to comfortable. Let the confidence seep in slowly but surely. This requires a good deal of effort on your part.

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Sticking to Etiquette

Show some basic etiquette. Open the door for her. Let her walk through first. Pull out the chair. Let her browse the menu first and decide what she wants to eat. Be very polite to her. Of course, you mustn't make it look over the top. You need not be a British gentleman from the 17th century. But treating her like a lady will make her feel special. Don't forget to compliment her on her appearance. This will gradually bestow more and more confidence to you. (MensXP.com)

Also read: Dealing with Her Ultimatums and Romantic Myths which Lead to Breakups

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