Films we fear someone will make in 2012

Bollywood’s affair with real-life stories is an old one, be it Madhur Bhandarkar’s exposé of a certain lifestyle or Ram Gopal Varma’s thrilling adaptation of page-one regulars. We present our very own real-to-reel roster of the shockers from 2011 that could make for some genuinely trippy flicks.

Lokpal: A pal you can count on

Inspired by Anna Hazare’s relentless endeavor to realise the Lokpal bill, we present a satire on Indian bureaucracy in ‘Lokpal: A pal you can count on’. Raghubir Yadav would be an ideal front man for this film for various reasons, the chief ones being his common man appearance, his hunger strike-worthy demeanor and an overall appeal that would evoke empathy and sympathy in equal measure.  

Fuss kiya re, Obama

Based on America’s manhunt for terrorist Osama Bin Laden, we propose, ‘Fuss kiya re, Obama’. Naseeruddin Shah (with some hair dye) would be apt to play the American president who orders the manhunt for the world’s most dangerous terrorist and sees it through to its inevitable end. Apart from being an action-thriller, this one would portray the American president in a very candid light and also reinstate that this mission was completed successfully for his fussy administration, attention to minute details and how he micro-managed the entire operation.

Slapgate of India

The film is based on the unfortunate incident that involved Union agriculture minister Sharad Pawar being slapped by a 35-year-old man who claimed to be agitated over rising prices and corruption. While Boman Irani is apt as Sharad Pawar with his distinguished expressions, the slapper will be played by Navjot Singh Sidhu who would also hurt the minister with his terrible one-liners.

Love in Tihar

This comic caper is based on Rajya Sabha MP Amar Singh’s arrest for bribing three MPs to support Dr Manmohan Singh during the trust vote in 2008. While Anupam Kher may not resemble the Rajya Sabha MP, his comical genius would subtly handle the many excuses that Singh offered for his absence and then his surprise presence in court. Satish Kaushik would be do perfect justice to the judge’s role as he would throw in snide comments in response to the MP’s feeble defense.

Kasab ka hain din

Based on captured terrorist Ajmal Kasab’s many gastronomic demands, this edgy dramedy would showcase the dark life of prisoners. Cyrus Broacha would be ideal for his resemblance to Kasab, his zany interpretation of life and for his love for mutton biryani, the lead character’s ultimate fantasy.

A-G-O-G-Lo-G-Suno-G

Based on DMK MP Kanimozhi’s arrest in connection with the 2G spectrum case, this one would be an arty thriller that would expose the dirty politics within the telecom industry. Actress Tannishtha Chatterjee may have been confined to art house cinema for now but this could just be her big break into mainstream Bollywood.

Baba’s black sleep

Based on Yoga guru Baba Ramdev’s nine-day fast to fight against corruption, this film will delve into the nine dark nights that the yogic visionary spent when sleeping on an empty stomach. Makrand Deshpande has played a baba of sorts in many films in the past and would be a delightful option to play the lead in this testing drama.

Dhoni ki dhulaai

Based on India’s dream win at the cricket World Cup, this sports film would take us into Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s boot camp and give audiences an insight into how the team practiced and prepared for the big game. Needless to say, John Abraham’s charm and confidence would be perfect to portray the sure-footed Indian captain.