How to Know Your Spouse Better in Arranged Marriage


Vishal and Leena shared an enviable chemistry on their wedding day. It is hard to believe that their story is just two months old when both met in a typical arranged marriage set up. They connected well and went out on ‘dates’. Three months into the marriage, today, both are discovering new things about each other almost every day.

With greater technology connect and the way it is approached, the concept of arranged matches has changed over the years. What has, however, not changed is the mystery it holds. “No matter how much you communicate before marriage, you get to know a lot of things later,” says Vishal. “You don’t sit and interview each other. You slowly and gradually get to know each other,” he adds. True, but how does the understanding come about? We asked a few couples around to find best ways of getting to know your spouse after an arranged marriage:

Communicate and Express

"Ask each other’s opinion about different things, say an important event in the family or may be a show on TV,” advices Megha Sehgal, who got married to Shailesh within a couple of months of meeting him. “That gives you an understanding of how the other person thinks,” she adds.

Recommended Read: What to Ask a Girl in the First Meeting in Arranged Marriage

Express clearly. It is an initial phase and the person doesn’t know when to take something with a pinch of salt. Vishal shares an amusing incident, “Initially, she took everything I said very seriously. Like, if I nonchalantly said I’m hungry in the middle of the night, she would get up to cook something. I then had to tell her that I didn’t want her to act on it,” chuckles Vishal.

Together Time

Whether you live in a joint family or separately, remember to take out some ‘together time’. Go for dinner, a movie or a drive. “Listen to a plenty of songs from Yash Chopra’s movies when you go on a drive,” laughs Vijay Bhatia, a movie buff and a die-hard romantic. Well, whatever works to bring in the romance! The idea is letting the other person know what interests you and knowing if he/she appreciates it.

Understanding the environments

Friends know you the best. So, it is a good idea to know your partner through their friends’ eyes. Talk to close relatives. The “when he was a kid” tales often have a lot of insights about a person’s personality! However, do not be judgmental. “A friend might tell you a funny incident about your husband and some girl or the time he behaved foolishly. Do not judge him or be critical about it; it’s only an exercise to know the phase when you weren’t there,” suggests Megha.

Recommended Read: Bollywood Traits that Can Make you Her Real Hero

Space out

To understand each other closely, it is also important to give some space. “It’s important that your partner gets time to do things she likes or meet her friends. Similarly, you should go and meet your friends. It isn’t essential to stick together everywhere. The individuality comes out when the person is happy in one’s own space, making it easy for the other person to know you better,” advices Vijay.
But narrow the space in case of a conflict. “Never let a third person – be it your mother or his – get involved. Do not let it go unresolved but then do not let another person in between,” opines Megha.

Recommended Read: 7 Things Men Should Stop Doing after Becoming Husbands

Accept the differences

Finally, you cannot break the ice unless you open your mind to the differences your personalities have. “I like to keep my drawer organised but she is not very particular about that. She likes to neatly arrange the cupboard, which I don’t care much about,” shares Vishal. That is but a small example of the little differences you might have, which require an open mind and heart to understand and accept.

These were some of the ways to know your spouse better. With understanding and love, you can easily bring out the best in each other. If you have some more tips to share with our readers, please write in the comment section below.

--

Did you know that you can get stories like this on the Yahoo mail app?
Download it here.

Yahoo Cricket

Latest News

  • Salman verdict leaves Twitter, Facebook abuzz

    New Delhi, May 6 (IANS) Social networking sites Facebook and Twitter on Wednesday came alive with discussions for and against superstar Salman Khan after he was sentenced to five years in jail in a 2002 hit-and-run case that left a man dead and four others injured. Hours later, the actor got two days interim bail on medical grounds. Salman Khan was targeted because he is a celebrity," posted Anuj Singh on Facebook. "I am depressed and heartbroken because I am a Salman Khan fan," tweeted …

  • Salman returns home for two nights

    Mumbai, May 6 (IANS) Sentenced to five years in jail by a Mumbai court on Wednesday, Bollywood superstar Salman Khan returned home for two nights after the Bombay High Court granted interim bail. …

  • Baby love: three entrepreneurial Finnish dads think inside the box

    By Anna Ercanbrack HELSINKI (Reuters) - From their suburban Helsinki homes, three thirty-something fathers are hoping to create an international market for a peculiarly Finnish package - a baby box. Finland has sent the boxes - including baby clothes, a sleeping bag and nipple cream among other items - to parents-to-be in Finland since the 1930s when infant mortality was high. The designs for the clothes - sourced in Finland - change every year, and the arrival of the box is a big event for …

  • Bollywood star Salman Khan gets 5 years in prison for hit-and-run
    Bollywood star Salman Khan gets 5 years in prison for hit-and-run

    By Shilpa Jamkhandikar MUMBAI (Reuters) - A court sentenced Bollywood film star Salman Khan on Wednesday to five years in prison for killing a man in a hit-and-run accident, the latest twist in the tumultuous career of one of the country's biggest box-office draws. The district criminal court's order drove down shares of firms connected to the actor and, if upheld, will derail major projects in the pipeline of what is the world's most prolific movie industry. …

  • Abhijeet faces brickbats after tweets on Salman verdict

    Mumbai, May 6 (IANS) After the court verdict in the Salman Khan hit-and-run case on Wednesday, singer Abhijeet Bhattacharya tweeted that roads are meant for cars and dogs and not for people to sleep on -- thus drawing intense flak. You don't deserve respect from the masses. …

  • Moustachioed look in 'Bombay Velvet' was emotional for KJo

    Panaji, May 6 (IANS) Karan Johar's respect for actors who sport a fake moustache in films has grown manifold ever since he had to flaunt one himself for his role as a villain in "Bombay Velvet". As Khambatta in the Anurag Kashyap directorial, Karan wears a flamboyant and debonair look. …

  • Salman's journey from superstar to 'being human'

    New Delhi, May 6 (IANS) Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Salman Khan, 49, the eldest son of writer Salim Khan, has had an easy ride into Bollywood. Though he made his acting debut as a supporting actor in the 1988 film "Biwi Ho To Aisi", it was his charming boyish looks in the 1989 film "Maine Pyar Kiya" that helped catapult him to fame at the age of 25, and give him a strong female fan base. The actor is also facing trial for hunting a black buck, a protected species, during the …

  • British TV spy series "Spooks" gets silver screen makeover

    The agents of Britain's MI5 hit the silver screen this week in a film adaptation of popular British television spy drama "Spooks". "Spooks: The Greater Good" stars some of the original drama cast, such as Peter Firth, as well as new faces including "Game of Thrones" actor Kit Harington. The BBC series, which ran from 2002 to 2011, won many fans as well as numerous awards and Harington says the film stays true to the spirit of the spy show. "I think 'Spooks' always wanted to be a film. …

Loading...