Slurp, poke, bite, stare and others – The 9 kissing sins!

In an ideal world, all of us would be blessed with incredible kissing skills and memorable first kisses. Unfortunately, we live in a less-than-perfect world and stories of first kisses may range from scandalous to just plain horrific.

There are some types of kissers that everyone dreads. We went around and asked a few young ones to describe their worst kisses ever! For your reading pleasure, we sorted all these bad kissers into broad categories. So here goes, a list of kissers you want to keep you distance from.

Kiss me not

The stinker: These are the people whose breath brings up memories of a particularly bad garbage dump. Imagine kissing that! God sent people to invent mouthwash and breath fresheners for a reason. For heavens’ sake and your dates’ use them!

The Labrador: There is nothing more adorable than having a dog lick your face, but having another person do that? Ewww! Remember, when kissing, keep the drool to the minimum. Your date shouldn’t have to wade through a river of saliva to get to your lips.

The octopus: Yes, it’s good to show that you are excited about kissing your date but that doesn’t mean your hands should be all over the place, if you know what I mean. An unfortunate victim of the octopus claimed that she was busy slapping away her date’s hands through out. “Never again!” were the last words she ever spoke to him.

The vampire: Even Count Dracula and lately Edward Cullen (of ‘Twilight’ fame) keep the biting to the minimum when they are kissing their lady love, but there are some kissers around who end up using their teeth more often than needed. Remember, the aim is not to wound your date.

The vacuum cleaner: I think the romance novels are to blame for this one. People! When the book reads, “He kissed her and took her breath away”, I can guarantee that the author did not mean it literally! If your partner is gasping for breath, you probably overdid it.

The snake: These people are characterized by the constant darting of their tongue in and out of their partner’s mouth. More often than not, the snakes also double up as the Labradors (read above), which makes the experience twice as traumatic.

The porcupine: Imagine the spiky, scaly exterior of a porcupine and then imagine kissing it! Ouch! Chapped lips, dry mouths and unkempt moustaches are a perfect recipe for killing the moment and possibly even injuring your partner.

The crocodile mouths: Most people with abnormally large mouths often fall into this bracket. Kissing becomes a contest of “who can open their mouth wider” with their poor partner struggling to keep up. If your mouth is opened so wide that you can’t feel anything except your jaw stretching, you’ve probably opened up way too much.

The stare-rs: One of the victims explained her exasperation,“ I don’t get it, what are they hoping to see? An extremely magnified close up view of my nose? My eye? It’s downright creepy!”

So there you have it, the worst kissers ever!

Now all you have to do is find yourself a perfect date for Valentine’s day, find the courage to ask him or her out and then just ensure that you don’t do ANY of the above while kissing them. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?

You may also like:

Latest News

  • Nithiin, Puri Jagannadh to team up for the second time

    Chennai, March 31 (IANS) Actor Nithiin Reddy is all set to team up with filmmaker Puri Jagannadh for the second time in a yet-untitled Telugu film that is expected to go on the floors later this year. The two had earlier collaborated in last year's Telugu romantic-actioner "Heart Attack". …

  • 'Nanbenda' could be called 'Ok Ok' part 2: Udhayanidhi

    Chennai, March 31 (IANS) Actor-producer Udhayanidhi Stalin says his forthcoming Tamil comedy "Nanbendaa, which releases on Thursday, could be referred to as the sequel to the 2012 sleeper hit "Oru Kal Oru Kannadi" (Ok Ok). "'Nanbenda' could be called 'Ok Ok' part 2. Whatever is expected when Santhanam and I team up, you'll find all that in this movie. Santhanam plays my wingman in love. …

  • 'Kuch Kuch Locha Hai' trailer released, goes down and dirty

    New Delhi, March 31 (IANS) From Ram Kapoor's double-meaning ticklers to seductive stints of actress Sunny Leone, the trailer of comedy caper film "Kuch Kuch Locha Hai" that has been released on Tuesday sees the uncommon pair going wild and dirty. The trailer of the film shows Ram as a 45-year-old married man, Pravin Patel, who witnesses a "locha" (turmoil) in his life after he gets a chance to meet Bollywood star Shanaya (Sunny), whom he always fantasised about. Delhi boy Navdeep Chhabra, who …

  • Films for internet is the future: Homi Adajania

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Celebrities can be seen taking the virtual route to stay connected to their fans, but filmmaker Homi Adajania feels that making films for internet is the next big thing. He says internet allows people to pick films matching to their sensibilities. "I am very interested in exploring films for the internet. The democracy of the net allows the audience to find your films rather than the film finding the audience," Adajania told IANS. …

  • KJo nervous, stressed out about 'Bombay Velvet'

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Filmmaker Karan Johar, who is foraying into acting with Anurag Kashyap's "Bombay Velvet", is "nervous" and "stressed out" about how his negative character in the film will be accepted by the audience. In the romantic thriller, KJo plays a villain called Kaizad Khambatta, who has a flamboyant character. …

  • India Runway Week to encourage fashion education perspective

    New Delhi, March 31 (IANS) The fourth season of India Runway Week (IRW) is to start from April 10 and besides giving the new trends in the fashion and lifestyle domain, the three-day event will encourage the fashion education perspective. Fashionista School of Fashion Technology, New Delhi, has joined hands with Indian Federation for Fashion Development (IFFD) for the event which will be held at Hotel Opulent, Chhattarpur, here. "India Runway Week is a great platform for designers and to …

  • 'Shuddhi' to go on the floors after 'Brothers' release: Karan Johar

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Filmmaker Karan Johar has revealed that his production venture "Shuddhi" will go on the floors after the release of Karan Malhotra's film "Brothers" in August. "And Karan Malhotra, who is set to direct it, is releasing his film "Brothers" in August, so he will get into it right after that," he added. To be directed by Malhotra, "Shuddhi" features superstar Salman Khan, while the rest of the cast is yet to be finalised. …

  • Raai Laxmi lands a special role in 'Akira'

    Mumbai, March 31 (IANS) Raai Laxmi is set to make her Bollywood debut in a special appearance in A.R. Murugadoss-directed "Akira", which features Sonakshi Sinha in the lead. "Happy 2 announce my first debut in Bollywood as a guest appearance fr @ARMurugadoss sirs movie #Akira a great start (sic)," Laxmi posted on her Twitter page. Said to be the remake of Tamil sleeper hit "Mounaguru", the film also features Anurag Kashyap as the antagonist. The film, a thriller, is currently on floors here …

Loading...