By Martin D'Souza, Glamsham Editorial
A 'turkey' with MISSION ISTANBUL and now an 'unda' with ZANJEER. Apoorva Lakhia has come a long way (read downhill) after SHOOTOUT AT LOKHANDWALA.What I would want to first know is if Mr Salim Khan and Mr Javed Akhtar were paid the Rs 6 crore they were demanding, failing which they were threatening legal action and stalling of the release of the film? In my 'Open Letter' to Mr Salim Khan I had written: "I am of the firm opinion that classics should not be touched. Even if some producer or director has the urge of making money because of 'creative inability' or 'creative lethargy' or 'creative bankruptcy' (or whatever it is that gives them this brilliant idea), there should be a process and also a price tag (to attain the rights) which is so high that it immediately dissuades any such 'creative geniuses'."In my review of CHASHME BADDOOR I mentioned: "In future, I hope a regulatory body [in its bid to protect the creativity of old] is set up to screen remakes. I also hope there is a huge fee on making remakes which would automatically deter producers from venturing into tampering with classics."I guess, for Bollywood to understand the implications of what they are doing, will take time. Everyone is busy making money that a regulatory body would only be a spoiler. So why spoil the fun? "Let's milk the poor audience as much as we can," seems to be their mantra.As the audience, you are horrified at what unfolds on screen. If the dialogues are attempted at humour, they have succeeded. A few are crass. Especially one where the villain utters referring to Mona darling's mouth. This line leaves you with your mouth open, aghast! Terrible.A few others go thus: "Ek doctor kum hoge toh kuch nahi hoga," Sher Khan tells a doctor who is attending to his friend, ACP Vijay Khanna. "Suna hai kanoon ke haath lambe hota hai, pair nahi,"again Sher Khan goes, when he pulls the chair a little further from Vijay's reach. Speaking of Sher Khan, he disappears after a few scenes for the entire length of the first half, only to pop up again.The entire film has a plastic feel. Actors, characters, sets, dialogues and action.Sirf naam Zanjeer rakhne se, koi 'angry young man' banta. Amitabh Bachchan shook off the ashes of his flops with this film to create the 'angry young man' persona. The new lad, Ram Charan tries very, very, very hard. He will first have to loosen up to set himself free from the chains that are restricting his movements. Even the horse which comes in a dream could not be properly duplicated. That's the tragedy of this remake.Since there was no legal action and attempts to stall the film, I guess they (Salim-Javed) got their dues.What about the viewers? Why do they have to be subjected to such juvenile crap that makes an ass of a classic? If at all you still want to watch ZANJEER, please buy a DVD of the original. It will be worth your time and money.